It's for zombies..

I'm a walking oxymoron. I enjoy spending my days around people, but goshdarnit if I'm not antisocial. I like movies that make me examine man's morality, especially the deep questions. Of Mice and Men is one of my favorite books, and I really enjoyed the movie adaptation. You can watch it for enjoyment, but when you begin to pick apart the story you find so much of a deeper meaning. Stating that, I find enjoyment from Michael Bay films. Transformers was one of my favorite series of films. I enjoy mindless robotic violence, but I also grew up on Transformers.

I've come to terms that I'm a rather complex individual. Naive in the ways of life, yet I carry a mature wisdom you wouldn't find with most people my age. But with all my complexities I like it simple. I have a few close friends who I trust emphatically, and like to limit the things that draw my time. So for such a simply-complex individual like myself, I have a rather eclectic list of hobbies. One of them being shooting.. Some people don't like guns, and some people LOVE guns. Me, well, I love them. Either way I respect everyone's opinion. BUT there's one thing I don't wrap my head around. I can just anticipate all the right-wingers now in there head "Liberals... Liberals.. SAY IT!!" Nope, I'm cool with them. I find it easy to get along with everyone even when we have some very different opinions.

It comes from my camp, Gun Lovers. I was in a local gun shop a few weeks ago looking at Glocks. I love Glocks very much. I think most people that know my firearm preferences will tell you I'm hardcore Team Glock. The Austrians make a phenomenal machine. But to my left is a rather large individual. He's got me beat by a little less than half a foot (I'm 5'9" so I'm not exactly a short fella). He does have me beat in girth as well. This man must have weighed well over 400 lbs. Given the frame of reference though he'd probably weigh about 200 skinny. We'll call him the Texas Tonion (like the Longhorn appetizer). This man looked like he had Callofdutytude, in other words he buys guns and likes to talk about combat and fighting because he's compensating for something; in the same sense he's all talk and obviously no walk.

I get a good look at him and I see good ole Tonion is probably a few years older than me, no more than 25. At no point in his life has this man had military experience the way he's talking, but I hear him talking to the salesman behind the counter who's rather eager as he realizes he's about to make a bunch of cash off Tonion. I kid you not, he's getting two AR15's styled like M4's. If you're not familiar with these, the M4 is a variant of the M16 platform. An AR15 is a civilian variant which only has semi-automatic firing capabilities. The M4 is more "functional" version of the platform and allows more customization and well.. function than the M16 due to the rail systems. Like the Daniel Defense here to the right. Very nice gun, they did a great job with it.

Now brand new high quality to milspec civi M4 is going to run you about 'fiteen hunnerd. So he's at $3000 before tax. Tonion then begins to pick out the standard accessories, like foregrips, railguards and extra magazines. So I'm gonna put him at about $3500. I'm curious at this point to this man's reasoning then I hear him ask the salesman, "I want each gun to serve a different purpose, so I'd like to start with this one. This is gonna be my CQB (close quarters battle) gun. What kind of sight would you recommend?"

WUT. What did this man just ask the salesman? I'm trying to contain my laughter. I can see this man at home when his mother is gone. He's decked out in tactical gear. Running from room to room playing counter terrorist.

"GET ON THE GROUND NOW!!!" he'll yell to the dog. "OH MY GOD THIS IS JUST LIKE CALL OF DUTY!" So the salesman pulls out some red dot sight about $500. 4 G's now before taxes. I no longer have a reason to be in the store. I was window shopping but I start looking at accessories, holsters, stuff I just don't need. I was attempting to avoid detection while eavesdropping on this exchange.

Wait for it... "This one is going to be my zombie gun." Now, there's a joke in the gun community. Most will recognize they have firearms that don't serve a practical purpose, it's just owned for sport. One does not NEED a full auto MP5 for home defense, but owning and shooting one is fun. As long as you're responsible I don't very much care what you own. So for these and others a lot of us would say, "for zombies" in a tongue and cheek manner. But Tonion kept a straight face, and I could tell he was being serious.

What was my reaction? "What an idiot.." Nope.. Well yes, but not in the manner you'd think. My real response, "Tonion you fat sad man, you're an idiot of you think you're going to survive zombies. You have little chance." Why? Because Tonion's life experience does not exist outside his parent's home and community college.

So I dedicate this blog to zombie survival, limited gear reviews, and general humor. Just because. Tonion if you're reading this, grab a pen and paper and write this stuff down. Theinternet won't be here when zombies come.